An idea of love

I haven't been in a relationship, the way people defined it. But I am not innocent to love. I may not have the same depth of experience as compared to those who claim expertise to the subject; but I don't think that the vastness of the topic could be measured by the number of years you decided to stay, or the celerity of the spark from an eye contact.
The IDEA of love lead me to try ugly crying and tipsy nights; most are borne out of expectations that feelings would be reciprocated, but were not. Some are caused by overthinking. Others are induced by false hopes. All sounded so painful. Yet, despite the pain, why love?

Because love is not an idea. It is more than your thoughts or feelings. It is more than the rush of blood that ran to your heart and made it skip a  beat. Love is not what you are thinking it is.
Love is not I love you so that you will love me. Love is not he has to get this or else there is no love. It cannot be equated to a book or a shoes or a car. Love is more …

The Book

by Steph Degamo

I was just there at the corner;
resting, waiting, praying all my life.

Nobody bothered to look at me.
People just pass me by.

You see, I've been used to all of these
all my life, 
until you came. 

You changed every page of me.
You added color to my life.
Many times I've been read.
And many times I've been read wrong.

They just come to skim and scan.
Simple hi and then goodbye.

Some used to write their names on my pages.
That's why they became a part of me.
Yet they're different.
My inks are fine, theirs bold.
We don't complement each other.
They simply added chaos.

Some say they like me. 
And so I believed.
They say they need me.
So still I believed.
I was blinded by their words.
They made me believe that they can't live without me. 
So they ripped off my pages,
dragged me down to the bin,
tore pieces of me...

until I became who I am now.

You see, I was just there at the corner;
resting, waiting, praying all my life.
Until you came along to accompany me. 
And started readin…

How to move on despite the pain

Life is hard. And it'll be harder if you allow it to be.

It has been months already since I last posted in this page. I was literally on hiatus from all the fast paced changes that have happened in my life. I have to leave my job, temporarily quit law school, find myself, drama, and more drama. I have to cope. And it was hard. It was like everybody was so snob and I cannot make them wait for me despite my smile. Or my ugly cry. And that taught me that maybe I have to deal with hard people. Toxic people to be exact. And that I needed to be strong.

Before I finally decided to blog again, I have to battle with myself. I have to decide whether to continue writing like my old personal blog (diary) with themes relating to love and still drama, or to change it to this one--a more relaxed blog. I changed it.

I decided to make it different.
I decided to make my life different. Because I think, that's what I need. I moved out from my old place. I changed my study table. I changed my pla…